Spoonerine and Napkin Boy: Origin Story
by Igetboredalot
Summary: Rated M for a reason. Every time you don't review I kill a puppy.


**Spoonerine and Napkin Boy: The Origin Story **

It was just an average day at Utensil High. Scoopula Heyzues was sitting at a lunch table with her friends, talking and laughing. One of her blonde friends was going into detail about her erotic feelings for a certain history teacher when it happened. Disaster struck. One of her friends had dry cereal for lunch... but she had... no spoon! The friend tried to scoop it into her mouth with her fingers, really she did, but to no avail. The friend kept trying and trying but no matter how fast she scooped or how wide she opened her mouth, she couldn't eat her cereal. Scoopula was forced to watch as her friend tired, as her head drooped, as she slowly fell face first into her plastic bowl. Her friend floundered on the table, slowly drowning in her cereal. Scoopula and her friends were paralyzed with fear, what should they do! Soon it was to late, her friend had drowned in the food that had once given her life so much happiness. to make it worse, her body was sucked into the bowl, the cereal had eaten her body.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Scoopula. She ran to her friend and tried to pull her out of the cereal pile, but she was in to deep. The cereal was to heavy over her friend, and Scoopula was to weak. In a moment of blinding clarity Scoopula started to punch the cereal. *Shing* Scoopula screamed in pain, her knuckles had burst open, it felt like the bones in her hands were leaping out of her hands. And in a way they were. There were three bones emerging between her knuckles, but there was something odd about these bones. They were scooped at the end.. like... like spoons!

There was no time to worry about that right now, she had to save her friend. She scooped at the cereal with her new scooped appendages. She scooped as fast as could. Great heaps of cereal flew over her shoulder and hit bystanders in the face. There! she found her friends hair. She was close. She kept going. Soon her friend was free, Scoopula pumped her chest, cereal flew everywhere. But it wasn't enough. Her friend needed some serious mouth to mouth [Explicit Sex Scene]. Then her friend died. "NOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Scoopula again. Only then did she realize that the whole cafe was staring at her, no not just her, her bone spoons. Scoopula unclenched her fists and painfully felt the spoons retracted into her hands, the cuts healing as if by magic. Then Scoopula fled the cafe, and into the bathroom, where she cried.

A month later

Scoopula was living out of a trash can, she had been for weeks. She was too scared to return to the school yard and faced the people who new she was a freak. She had grown accustomed to her mutation, the bone spoon and her super healing, but she knew that others wouldn't adapt so quickly.

"Scoopula? Scoopula HeyZeus?" Asked a man framed in the light of the alley, his face dark. "Who's asking?" Asked Scoopula all sassily. "Nick frekin Fury." The man stepped into the light and it was revealed that he was a strong independent black man. "What do you want?" Asked Scoopula. "I want you. I want your power." The man responded. "What could you ever want with a freak like me?" Wondered Scoopula. "I want to make you better. Stronger and faster. Afterwards, well, maybe you can help me with a few things." "What kind of things do you want me to do?" queried Scoopula, worried. "Oh god not that!" Shouted Nick Fury. "I was thinking afterwards you could help your country by fighting crime."

Scoopula thought about it, she did, but she decided against it. Society had shunned her (not really, she shunned herself, but super heroes are always really whiney), she owed it nothing. "I can see your decision written across your face, and i won't try to change it. I just hope that the next time someone is drowning in cereal, there's some hero around to save them." Then the man walked out of the alley. Scoopula felt like the man had struck her across the face. She owed it to her brow haired friend to do as this man said and become a hero, she owed her.

"Wait!" She called after the man "I'll do it". The man grinned towards the camera, letting the audience know that he knew she would do it all along.

A few months later.

Today was the day of Scoopula's operation. They were going to make her into a hero. They were going to cut into her body and fuse her bones with plastic, this would make her stronger, buoyant(er), and allow her to scoop things better then she had ever scooped things before. [Explicit super hardcore sex scene]

"Your operation has been a huge success, now all you need is a kick ass super hero name." Said Nick Freakin Fury as he visited Scoopula in her hospital room. "Well, i'm like a wolverine, I have long claws and I heal quickly. But I have spoons, not claws. Call me... SPOONERINE"

End of Origin Story Part 1. If you guys review, or just view in general, I'll add Napkin boy's back story.


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